I will be honest and say I was super nervous about launching pre-orders for my second book this week. I love the feeling of getting a proof through the door and holding my new book for the first time. But then I realise that it means I now have to sell it and get it out there into the world for parents and children to read. What if I don't sell many copies? What if my second book is a flop? Then I get a little nudge from my husband and my friends and I get myself back in the zone. Everyone loves Eddy, my first book continues to be a great success and I have had nothing but positive comments since I started.
But why do we do that to ourselves? Imposter syndrome can jump and bite us at any moment and even when we have had success and wonderful feedback there is still some self doubt that can get in the way of us really enjoying the moment. It can creep up on us when we least expect it and then all these negative emotions seep into our minds.
I needed to give myself a reality check. Launching a second book is different. I have had tons of sales since I launched a week ago, but I know that my first book will always be a unique experience. Many of my friends and acquaintances who didn’t have children bought a copy as they wanted to support me with my first ever book.
I know I push myself hard and have high expectations, but these also drive me to be the person I want to be. I love being kept busy, achieving things and connecting and helping many people. I know I have said it before in previous blogs, but it is about getting the right balance. I have so many ideas that continue to ping around in my head. At times I wish I could split myself in two so I could be able to work on many things at once, but I know that I have to step back and plan things in a better way. 'Go slow to go faster' as one of my wonderful writer friends keeps telling me.
I had a delightful message from an adoptive mum this week saying that her son took Eddy Finds a Family into school for 'World Adoption Day.' This melted my heart and also made me realise that my books are continuing to make a difference in the world. She has also bought my second book Eddy Feels at Home and I know there are definitely Eddy fans out there. All I ever wanted from my books was to help my son and many other adoptive children, as well as give a fun story to many other children to enjoy. I know I have achieved that and its an amazing feeling that my book will be out there in the world forever, even when I am no longer around.
Anyway, I better get back to it - more books to sell and children to make happy.