Today is the anniversary of the first day we met on the 22nd March.
We were up early, excited and nervous to meet our son. Years in the making and the day had arrived, finally we would be parents. It seemed strange to be dressing for work, but before I went into the office there was something special I had to do. We had meticulously planned what the first week would look like with social services and our sons foster carer. Day one would be an hours gentle introduction finishing the week with a full day at our home and everything in between.
We got into the car, entered the postcode into the sat nav and headed off feeling nervous and excited. It was strange to think that eight years hoping for a child would finally be over. We were driving to meet our little boy for the first time.
I walked into the room first to meet you. You were lying on a play mat with your legs kicking as if you were playing with an imaginary football. Your beautiful big blue eyes transfixed on the green jungle mobile dancing above your head, never quite in reach of your tiny hands. Time stopped and I just stood for what seemed like forever watching you. Our son........how strange that felt. I'm going to be a daddy or rather I AM a daddy. All these different thoughts and emotions whirling around my head. What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t know what to do? What if I drop him? Most of all I had a big smile as I carefully walked towards you, watched by social workers and the foster carer, to say hello. I managed to walk across the room without tripping and ever so carefully scooped you up into my arms. You were so small. Those big blue eyes were no longer transfixed on the dancing mobile but staring up at me. It felt like a 'wow' moment and you took my breath away. Never had I felt like this (apart from our wedding day of course). Then mummy came in and you smiled as she reached to hold you. You seemed to know that you were meeting you're new mummy and daddy for the first time and you seemed happy, relaxed and content with that.
The first introduction went so well we stayed far longer than originally planned as you seemed so at ease with us. I remember your foster carer saying how well it had gone and that you normally didn't take well to strangers. Surely a good sign! It went so quickly and felt like as soon as we were there we were leaving again. Of course not for long as we would be back tomorrow to take you out for a few hours. Now that would be nerve wracking. Thankfully we had passed the first test.